Whose Idea was it Anyway?
by Astral Thatcher
Summary: Look, I'm not any happier about this than you are. I only did this because my cousin asked me to, so let's pretend we like each other and get this over with for her sake, all right? AU VaniXi, some SoKai, and probably other pairings. T for some language.
1. Brothers, Favors, and a Whole Lotta Hell

**Summary: **Look, I'm not any happier about this than you are. I only did this because my cousin asked me to, so let's pretend we like each other and get this over with for her sake, all right?

**Hey, everyone!** **Please don't ask where this story idea came from. I honestly have no clue… =_= I've given up trying to figure out where half of my ideas come from.  
>Vanitas: <strong>It astounds us all.  
><strong>YOU HUSH! Anyway… ^^"<strong>

**Disclaimer: I-  
>Vanitas: <strong>Spazz Kadet does not own the game; this includes the characters. All of those rights belong to Square Enix, etc.  
><strong>=.= Thank…you…Vani.<br>Vanitas: **She also deeply desires a doll form of myself since she can't get the real thing, but neither of these wishes will ever be fulfilled.  
><strong>}=O Are you done trolling me now?<br>Vanitas: **Mmm… No. To the readers: When you review (if you do **(Spazz: PLEASE DO!)**) be sure to tell Spazz whether or not you want her to reply to it via PRIVATE MESSAGE! We don't want you all getting annoyed with her antics in your inboxes, now do we?  
><strong>…Thanks for putting it like that… But, he is right. I'd hate to be a bother, so please be sure to tell me! If you don't specify in your review, chances are you won't get a reply unless I just absolutely love what you said.<strong>

**Enjo-  
>Vanitas: <strong>Enjoy this crack failure that we (she) call(s) a story.  
><strong>…<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Whose Idea was it Anyway?<br>****Chapter I: Brothers, Favors, and a Whole Lotta Hell**

"Vanitas? Vani. Hey, Van. Vanitas. Van-i-tas. Hey. You. Person. Hey. Hey. Va-"

"What do you want, Sora?-!" A vein in my forehead pulsed, annoyingly so. As nerve racking as it was, it took all of my concentration not to murder my twin right there. I wouldn't want to get his blood on my bed sheets, though. I applied pressure to the throbbing.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you knew I was here."

Glaring up at him from my essay, I propped my elbows up on my desk to massage both of my temples. "Sora, I knew you were here the instant you stepped through that door – leading into MY bedroom, by the way – and screamed 'VANITAS, I BROUGHT YOU SOME ICE CREAM!'"

"Which you still haven't touched…"

"It's sea-salt. You know that's my least favorite," I informed him, yet again, looking sideways at the bowl next to me, the bar in it almost completely melted in the half-hour it had been sitting there. Wow; he had been pestering me that long?

"You're such a grumpy head! You've got to be the only person in the world who doesn't think that sea-salt ice cream is the god of all ice cream! It's the perfect blend of-"

"Sor, I'd love to listen to you blather on about 'the greatest of all ice cream flavors', but I have a five-hundred word essay to write. It happens to be due tomorrow." Three, two, o-…

"OH MY GOSH! The essay!" I smirked slyly as he launched off of my bed and bolted out of my room, most likely to _begin_ the paper. I leaned back in my chair, pushing my own half-finished homework to the side (putting it beneath the bowl of melted slosh) deciding to complete it after school the next night. I'll be honest, I lied to my twin about the due date; it wasn't tomorrow, but the day after. We didn't even have that class until Tuesday.

Sora and I were juniors at Betwixt High, a school that ran on a block schedule system. It was a small, boring school in which I was out casted. Like I gave a damn. All of my peers were morons. Why would I waste my breath trying to impress them? It may seem cruel to tell Sora the assignment's due when it's not, but if he got it finished, he wouldn't have to worry about it later, like me. I was such a horrible procrastinator.

With a sigh, I rested my head on my arms that were folded on my desktop. My leg bounced restlessly while I blew air out of the "o" shape my lips formed. Why did my life have to be so dull? There was absolutely nothing to do in this house. Homework and sulk. Yep, that was about it. There was the occasional prank on my younger twin. That was always good for a laugh. But he was probably racking his brain for essay topics, so I would leave him be for the time being. I beat my head against the desk for a moment out of utter boredom. Just as I was questioning what I could do to keep myself entertained (and breathing) my stomach growled, deciding for me.

Slapping my hands down on the desk, I pushed myself from my seat to scavenge the pantry for suitable means for dinner. My parents were out, and Sora would sooner blow up the neighborhood on accident than prepare a decent meal. The task was left entirely up to me.

I hopped downstairs, making sure not to make too much noise. Knowing him, he had just gotten started on the paper, and I didn't want to distract him. Upon reaching the food closet (don't question the terms I use) I leaned against the doorframe as my eyes scanned the surface of boxes, cans, and other various items you would find in such a place, besides corpses. Seeing nothing very appealing that wouldn't take a lifetime to cook, I glanced to the clock. It was only 5:38. Plenty of time. I began to pull out seemingly random vegetables, mincing and dicing while some vegetable oil simmered at the bottom of the frying pan.

The rice was just beginning to boil – I had decided on a vegetarian korma, since I didn't have any chicken to add – when I heard footsteps bounding down the staircase. My ears were then met with a loud thud on the floor, a loudly whispered "Ow!", and feet shuffling across the tile toward the pan sitting on the stove. I was rummaging through the fridge for a Dr. Pepper to accompany the spicy meal just as he was reaching out to dip his finger into the food. Accustomed to his antics, I quickly turned, and slapped the back of Sora's hand away with the wooden spoon I had been using. There was still some of the orange sauce remaining on it, and I knew he'd be satisfied with that much for the time being.

"How many times has Mom told you not to run down the stairs if you're going to twist your ankle at the bottom step every time?"

Licking his hand like a cat, he replied, "So long as I get korma, I'm okay with it!"

"When you end up on a hospital bed, don't expect me to bring you any." I pushed past him to stir the still simmering ingredients, awaiting the rice to soak up the remainder of the water.

"But, Vanitas! You have to!" he whined. "Who says I'm even gonna end up in the hospital anyway?"

"I do, and I'll put you there myself if you don't wait for dinner at the table." He immediately did as he was told, knowing it made me somewhat paranoid when someone was watching me from such a close distance. As for the threat, it held no true meaning. I had been threatening people (mostly Sora) since we were in preschool. He expected these types of things from me. The brunette only did as I asked because he didn't like to make anyone angry or annoyed. We were _definitely _polar opposites.

A few minutes of silence passed, the only sound being the scraping of wood on metal as I stirred the rice for the final time. "Come fix your plate," I told my twin. He was at my side instantly, scooping piles of rice to coat the bottom of a China dish. "Did you have to use one of Mom's good plates?" I asked, sighing.

"Of course, Vani! A dinner this good deserves to be on something better than an ordinary plate. Your korma is the god of all foods!"

"I thought that was sea-salt ice cream."

He heaved an exasperated sigh. "No, that's the god of all _ice cream_. Your korma is the god of all _food._"

"Fine, whatever; but it's not my fault when Mom gets upset that her China is forever orange because of your choice to use it, got it?"

He thought a moment, looking down to the layer of the white grain. "On second thought…" Setting it down, Sora retrieved one of the regular plates from the cupboard, and shoved the rice onto the clean dish. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "What?" my double asked innocently. I simply rolled my eyes again, and carried my now full plate to the table, Sora following behind.

We ate dinner uneventfully – not that I would expect otherwise in this house – aside from Sora dropping his fork-full of food every other attempt. Once our plates were cleared from the table, Sora cleaned the dishes as he did every night I cooked. It was only fair, and it's not like I forced him to do it; I didn't even ask him to. He had volunteered the first night, and it had become routine.

Just as he was drying the last dish, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," I muttered dryly before he could race to do so, dropping the glass he held in the process. I reached the door, and allowed it to swing open. In front of me stood a very pissed off looking red head.

"He forgot your date again, didn't he?" I questioned her, moving to one side before she could force me out of the way. She stomped right past me, and looked about the room.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

"Kitchen," I told her simply.

Just as she began in that direction, Sora's head poked around the corner. "Who is it, Van- OH MY GOSH, KAIRI!" His eyes grew wide as the realization suddenly hit him.

"Sora Tenelux!" Kairi yelled, her fist raised in the air. "I cannot believe you forgot again! That's the third time this month!"

"Kairi, I'm so sorry!" he pleaded.

"Is this your way of telling me you want to break up with me? Is that it?" She had stopped in front of him, her face inches from his, eyes beginning to water.

"No, no it's nothing like tha-" Sora tried to reason.

"Well, fine, if that's how you feel, then we're through!" I stood against the door, my arms crossed over my chest, rolling my eyes. I had never liked her much, anyway; this only proved how much of a whiny, clingy prick she really was. Frankly, I had no idea how Sora could possibly put up with it. Every time he made a mistake – despite how minor it was – she would throw one of her silly little tantrums.

"Kairi! I don't want to-"

"No! You don't have to explain. I don't want to hear it!" She turned away from him, her face burrowing in her palms. He hugged her from behind. The red head tried to wriggle away, but he wouldn't allow it. Kissing her neck softly, he whispered something to her. I was too disgusted to know what it was. With one final swallowing of vomit in the back of my throat, I ran up the stairs to my room. They would spend the rest of the night in the living room, and I was not going to be found near them unless absolutely necessary.

* * *

><p>Okay, so it was absolutely necessary. I had to go downstairs to retrieve the music player I had left on the counter while I was cooking. From the top of the staircase I saw the couple cuddling on the couch, Kairi finally having been calmed by my brother's comforting gestures. Disgusting. I began my descent soundlessly. My hope was to simply sneak by unnoticed, grab my music player, and get back up to my room without a big ordeal. Knowing my twin and his girlfriend, they would get me involved in their antics as soon as they laid eyes on me, one way or another. Of course, those hopes were crushed as I reached the bottom step. Right; that's why Sora always jumped over it…<p>

_CrreeEAAK!_

I made a dash for it.

"Vanitas!" Kairi called. Damn it! I was so close! I stopped dead in my tracks, just before the safety the kitchen tiles provided. Knowingly defeated, I reluctantly trudged into their view, red – and empty – handed. "Perfect timing. We were just talking about you!"

"What about me, _dare _I ask?" I saw Sora flinch as he stared straight ahead, not risking a glance in my direction. This was going to be good…

"Sora and I both agree-" he tried to shrink into the couch "-that we should find you a girlfriend."

"No way in hell," was the only response I had. As I turned to continue my – now obviously failed – mission, I could've sworn I heard Sora heave a sigh of relief.

"Hey! Get back here, you jerk!" Kairi called. I would have to face her again anyway, so I grabbed my MP3 from the counter. "I know the perfect girl for you," the red head told me as I reentered. I gave her an incredulous expression, but giving no other sign that I was paying total attention. "She's my cousin."

"No! Way. In. HELL!"

"Why?-! I know you're not very fond of me-" if _that's _not the understatement of the year… "-but me and her are **nothing **alike. I really think the two of you will get along good. You can even ask Sora; he's met her, and he agrees with me. If you don't think my word's good, ask him."

He turned his head toward me ever-so slowly, knowing that if he answered wrong, the consequences would be dire. Kairi and I both stared him down as we awaited his answer. With one final glance at the red head, he slowly nodded. He was a dead man sitting.

Kairi wore a smug smile as she pushed her luck forward, "So just, _please, _let me set up a blind date for the two of you?" She looked to me, hopeful. I remained glaring at Sora, his eyes locked fearfully with mine. I took my time to exhale loudly, just in case there was any miscommunication between my twin and I about the severity of my annoyance.

"In Vanitas language, that breath means 'yes'," Sora "interpreted."

"What?-!"

"Great!" Kairi chimed. "I'll tell her you'll pick her up from my house Friday night at six!"

I was staring, my eyes wide, at a loss for words.

"Kairi!" Sora began, nervously. "Don't you have to get home soon before your parents start worrying? Yes? Okay, let me get my keys so I can drive you home!" His words were rushed. I don't think he even had time to breath.

"But, Sora, my car's h-" she began, confused.

"Oh, look! My keys were in my pocket the entire time let's go!"

The last words before the door closed was Kairi yelling "And wear something nice on Friday, will you?" at me, as more of a demand than a request. Once they were safely in the yard, I was dumfounded. I stood there for a moment, dazed, looking at the door, but not really seeing it. What had my brother done? Coming to my senses, I glanced down to the entryway table; there sat Sora's car keys. I heard a car start, one that must have been Kairi's. Sora's was too much of an old piece of crap (that he called a "classic") to sound like that. The roar of the engine lingered; they must have been talking through the window or something… No, just talking. I didn't want to think about them doing something else. That was too disturbing to imagine. Instead, I climbed halfway up the staircase, and sat. Waiting. Just waiting. Waiting for the moment that Sora would step back through that door.

When at last it opened again, I silenced my breathing. I could hear the door closing slowly, and when it met the frame it was a soft tap. I sat with my elbows resting on my knees, and my hands folded together. His feet shuffled on the entryway tile; he would take a step then hesitate. Step, hesitate. The moment he thought it was safe, he sprinted up the first few steps, only to look up and see me waiting for him. "Whoa!" was all he managed to yell as he turned with me right on his heels. I had the advantage, and he knew it. Sora quickly came to the dreaded bottom step, and leaping off of the one just before it, he twisted his ankle like always. It was the only chance I needed to capture him in a headlock.

"Sora, would you care to explain to me what, exactly, the hell happened?-!"

"I-I was just trying to make it up to Kairi! She was so upset earlier, and…I knew this would make her happy, a-and… I just didn't know what else to do!"

"Heh, well now that you've made your bed, you'll have to sleep in it. Hell would freeze over the day that Kairi being upset is worse than when I am. You should've realized this sooner."

"I know, I'm sorry!"

"Oh, dearest Brother, if only those simple words could fix this."

"What will?"

"I think you know, all too well."

He groaned in despair.

I released him from the headlock, and he raced to his room pushing past me and up the stairs. Before he could slam the door in my face, I stopped it with my foot and smiled one of my infamous devious smiles. He knew exactly what to expect, and surrendered.

After preparing for Sora's punishment, I returned to my own bedroom, locking the closed door as I leaned against it. What was I supposed to do? Although I would never admit it – not even to Sora, even though he knew…if it had ever crossed his mind as a coherent thought – I had never had a girlfriend before. No, it wasn't because I'm a homosexual! It wasn't that girls weren't attracted to me either; but none of them ever really stood out to me. It was mostly due to the fact that they never took the chance to get to know me. It was usually cheerleaders (who I despise because they're way too happy) or shy little scene girls. The cheerleaders only came near me because of the "bad boy" image that I had. With my reputation – that I will not go into detail about – that was understandable. As for the scene chicks, it was because I was too hot for words, not to sound like an egotistical bastard. I truthfully had people coming up to tell me that on a regular basis ( and not all of them were girls).

Most people would tell me that I'm jumping to conclusions about how they don't even know me or something stupid. But it's really the only explanation. I only had one person I talked to at school, and that was Sora. On occasion he would bring some of his friends over to come have lunch in the cafeteria, but there was never much of a conversation because they were too busy shifting in their seats out of fear – with good reason.

There was nothing for it; I had to know what kind of girl I was being set up with, no matter what it took. After school, I would get Sora to help me with my plan. One favor is always part of the punishment, after all. He still owed me.

* * *

><p>The bell after the final period rang at last, and I sauntered to my black Ducati Sports 1000, and waited for total satisfaction from the day, mounted on my bike, until I saw Sora walk down the front steps of the school. I smiled to myself when I saw a head of flattened brunette hair, sulking in a pair of Tripp pants, an over-sized jacket, eyeliner and black lipstick, and a T-shirt of my favorite band, Lostprophets. With my helmet and jacket on, I revved my Ducati's engine, attracting the attention of him and many other students, before racing off toward home.<p>

Minutes after I arrived, Sora stalked through the front door. I waited, leaning up against the staircase banister.

"Sora-"

"Remind me to never piss you off again."

"Heh, right. When you piss me off next week I'll add a lip piercing for more effect. In the meantime, you're coming with me."

He froze, his backpack falling from his shoulders to the floor, eyeing me carefully. "What are you getting me dragged into now?"

"What was that? Do I hear the secrets of a tortured, gothic soul that need to be revealed to the rest of the student body?"

"You wouldn-"

"Try me."

The brunette sighed, knowingly defeated. "What do you need my help with?"

"You know the girl that Kairi's setting me up with?"

"Yeah…?"

"We're going to find her."

"Tonight?"

I nodded once.

"And what are you going to do once you do?"

"_We _are going to see exactly what _you _are making me put up with."

"I'm not making you 'put up' with anything. I think you'll really like her, and…"

I had been glaring at him. Sora had always shrunk under my gaze.

"Fine, I'll help you find her…"

"You'll have to wear a disguise."

"Why?" he complained.

"She's met you, she'll recognize you! I'm going to be wearing one too, so if she sees me today, she won't know it's me on Friday. Actually, what you're wearing now will do quite nicely," I said thoughtfully.

He shot up the staircase to go change. I took my time getting to my room to pick out some fake glasses, said lip piercing (fake, of course) and a jacket with a hood that would cover my face, if the need arose.

Nearly half an hour later, I was growing impatient. "Sora! How long does it take you?"

"Sorry!" he called back, the bathroom door opening as he came back down. "I had to do my hair, re-spike and all. What do you think?"

And I thought _my _over-simplifieddisguise was a bad idea…

"Sora-"

"Don't worry; the hair dye is only temporary!"

"Sora, GO CHANGE!"

"Fine…" The brunette turned on a heel to rummage through his closet.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and middle finger. Despite all odds, I had to be the person who was born with a twin who would disguise himself as me.


	2. Follower, Date, and Make Believe

**I'm back! 8D  
>Vanitas: <strong>Why?  
><strong>Just because I only got one review, does NOT mean I've given up! Okay, so…yeah, not much to talk about. I know there was something…<strong>

**Oh, right! You know how most fanfics that star Vanitas always make him kinda quiet, and how he usually keeps to himself? There's nothing wrong with those stories (in fact, it probably works better with the plot) but! I just want to say that this will not be one of those fics. In the game he's really quite talkative (it's probably getting him to shut up that's the trick) and he likes to have fun, just like any other teen. Well, yeah, his idea of fun his…basically torturing people in malicious ways… But, that's not the point. My point is… I totally just lost my train of thought.  
>Vanitas: <strong>Nice going.  
><strong>Moving on… Sorry to say that if you were expecting Vanitas to be like in most other fics, that's not how he's going to be in this one. Rant over; time to press on.<strong>

**Vanitas: **In the previous chapter, we forgot to mention that the disclaimer applied to the whole story, so…there ya go. And Spazz wanted me to warn you that this chapter was kinda rushed, so she apologizes for the crappiness in advanced. And I have to say, as far as crappy goes, this is very crappy even by her standards. It jumps around a lot, there isn't much detail-  
><strong>YES, OKAY! THANK YOU!<strong>

**That's really all I had to say (aside from a warning of a bit of minor Larxene bashing) so enjoy!~**

**Chapter II: Follower, Date, and Make Believe**

"That's her? Oh, my God! I thought a cousin of Kairi was going to be unattractive, but I hadn't expected _that_!"

"No! Not the one with the girl with the blonde hair! Actually, that's a friend of a friend of mine. Her name's Larxe-"

"Sora, staying on task would be nice."

"Right, sorry. Um… Where'd she go? Aha! There she is!" he whispered, pointing to a girl from our place behind a bush. I know, a bush; it was pathetic, but my oh-so-intelligent twin had ducked down in its cover before I could object. I hadn't suggested moving because, let's face it, twins coming out from behind a plant together? Not inconspicuous at all.

I followed his finger to a petite girl with cropped, black hair that just met her chin. Her eyes were large, but in a way that would be attractive to most people, and had the same shade of blue that Kairi's had. Must run in the family. Wait…why did I know what Kairi's eyes looked like? I shivered, shunning the thought to the furthest reaches of my mind, and returning my attention to my soon-to-be-forced-upon date. I examined her face more intently. I knew her from… Oh, my God.

"Her?-!" Sora gave me a confused look. "She's in our English class, you idiot!"

He thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah!"

"How could you not remember?-! She's a friend of yours, but you didn't know?-!" I could feel my voice growing steadily louder. Glancing around, I could judgmental stares were being given to the bush by the people around us. Thankfully, our target hadn't noticed.

"Well… You-… If-… Uh-… At least you know what you're going to be putting up with?" he stuttered, letting himself slip.

"Sora! She's one of your friends and you didn't even know she was in our class?-!"

"You know how unobservant I can be!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't let myself get that upset here. Not wanting to attract anymore unwanted attention, I sighed and tried to calm my breathing. I looked up to, once again, better observe the short girl. She sat on the edge of a fountain that was in the center of the city's outdoor mall. I had never come here very often, but that was because the only things I did was go to two stores, maybe one of the fast food places, and the center courtyard that had the fountain and manmade creek. On occasion, I was forced to a movie with my brother and Kairi, but when that happened, we usually didn't go around the rest of the mall. Kairi had given up on doing that after the second time she had tried. I'm – not – sorry, but I was not going to be dragged into Aeropostle, Holister, and all of those other poisonous…things.

The girl did nothing but sit and write. Who came to the mall to write? It was too loud, and the small kids always splashing in the water were so obnoxious. What was her name again? Shelby… Shi-… Xion? I was certain that's what it was. What a moron.

"Let's go, Sora," I told him.

"But we just found her."

"I don't care. I'll find out more during the week."

"That'll only give you two days to do whatever it is that you're planning… It's an…A…week… HEY! That paper wasn't due until tomorrow!" I couldn't help but pinch the bridge of my nose again.

"Will you SHUT UP?-!"

"Well, I guess that explains why my history teacher wouldn't take it…"

The expression on my face was indescribable. It was somewhere between 'Sora, you're an idiot' and 'I can't believe we're related, and as twins of all relations.' Shaking my head in despair, I looked back to Xion. She was now looking up, seemingly watching us inside the bush. I panicked until I realized her gaze was off to my left, where some kids were running around in the grassy part of the area. Obnoxious little… But she seemed amused by them easily enough, and quickly scribbled something down on the paper that she held. With that, she packed the spiral back into her bag, and rose from her place.

"C'mon," I whispered, hitting my brother on the shoulder, and – as nonchalantly as I could – clambered away from the awful plant to follow her. Clumsily, Sora did the same, and I made sure we had enough distance between us and Xion. God, she walked slow! Eventually, we caught sight of her entering the candy shop. Figures. Well, she could rot her teeth out if she wanted; I didn't think it was possible, but this made me not want to go on a date with her even more.

We waited in between two of the buildings until she came back out of the store, some chocolates in a transparent plastic bag dangling from one of her hands. Xion then began to head away from the mall, which I thought was odd. It was then that I realized she was heading toward the apartments just on the other side of the street from which she stood. Only _then _did I realize, she was heading in our direction, and we were in plain sight. Sora must have realized this as well because he darted from where he was, closer to her, whispering a quick "I got this," to me. I stared in horror as her attention was directed toward him.

My twin turned on his heel, a mere three feet away from her. Her eyes were wide with incredulity as she watched him approach me once again.

"'Ey, Eduardo!" he called to me, with the _worst possible _Spanish accent that I could ever imagine. Xion watched with her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth slightly agape. "Wha's good, 'homz'?" Sora raised a hand for a greeting, but I could only slap my forehead. Lesson learned: never take Sora on a reconnaissance mission. _Ever. _To my relief, the raven-haired girl passed us. I continued watching her from the corner of my eye as her gaze fell again before her. As far as I was concerned, she didn't seem to recognize either of us. Well, I would think she would've stopped to talk to Sora.

As she turned a corner, I slapped the back of Sora's head.

"What?" he complained, rubbing the sore area.

Friday night… Yippee… Sora was excited, and, of course by Tuesday Mom had noticed this. Naturally, he had to open his gargantuan mouth. The excitement that I refused to be a part of was as follows:

"OH MY GOD! VANI'S FIRST DATE!"

"Mom! It's not that big of a deal," I complained.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?-!"

Point: proven. Sora was freaking out right along with her. While they were busy with that, I decided to lock myself away in my room until Sora came to force me into something nice to wear, and out of the house. And he did just that.

I stood in the entryway, being looked over (for the four hundred and thirteenth time) by Sora. His eyes roamed over the red dress shirt, and black tie and dress pants that I wore. My hair was the same, since, although he tried, nothing could be done about it. Finally he nodded with approval, and I told him to give me his car keys.

"What for?"

"I'm not taking her on my motorcycle, Sor," I told him, making the fact obvious.

With an understanding expression, he tossed me his keys which I caught with one hand, and immediately escaped through the front door. I inhaled the fresh air, finally able to get away from my over-excited family. Honestly, there was no way I was even _going _to let this night go well. I didn't want to have to put up with this more often than I had to.

Taking my time reaching my brother's piece-of-crap car. This thing was so old; I couldn't see how he could stand driving it. Give me a Ducati any day. I suppose most would call a 1968 Ford Mustang convertible a classic, but to me, it was just a hunk of different metal parts waiting to crumble. Regardless, I ducked down underneath the raised roof of the death car, and started the ignition, preparing myself for a night of torture.

I stood on the front porch, impatiently waiting for the door to be answered. A hand rested in my pants pocket, while the other rested at my side, my foot tapping without rhythm on the pavement. Just as I was contemplating turning around, and getting away while I still had the chance, the door opened, revealing a familiar red head.

"Well, it's about time!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," I began. "Who is it that was _on time _but was left standing here waiting for the damn door to opened, only to be dragged into something that I had no option in doing in the first place?"

Kairi could only stare at me. Giving up, I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Where is she?"

Brightening up at the question, the red-brunette smiled. "She'll be down anytime now. She just had a few more touches to her makeup."

_Yeah, _I thought. _Let's pile on the makeup for a date who doesn't want to be here, who you won't impress no matter what. Great idea!_

"Would you like to come inside while you're waiting?"

"No."

"Um, okay…"

We stood in awkward silence. Well, it was awkward for her anyway. I didn't care. After about half of a minute more, I gave an exasperated sigh. "Tell her I'll be waiting in the car." _If I don't drive off first, _I mumbled under my breath.

"But Vanitas!" Kairi began to object, but I walked away nonetheless.

Sitting in the driver's seat, I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence while it lasted. I could hear the steps of high heels on the pavement just outside, but it wasn't until the door to my right opened that I looked to my forced date. She climbed into the passenger's seat, and sat awkwardly.

"Hi," she said, annoyance plain in her tone. I decided to say nothing. Although, I wouldn't bring it up, I was honestly curious if she had recognized me from my failed mission at the mall. She didn't bring it up right away, so I assumed she was just that thick-headed. "I'm Xion." She wouldn't meet my gaze. "So are we doing this, or not?"

I sighed. Looked like she was going to make me talk to her. "Whatever. Where the hell are we even going?"

"I don't know. It's your job to figure these things out."

"I'm sorry. That wasn't in the job description."

"So this is just something my cousin forced you to do?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, at least I know I'm not alone there." Silence followed. Wow, not even two minutes in to this, and we can already tell how well we're going to get along. Great way to be civil. "How about a movie?" she spoke again.

"No."

"Dinner?"

"Definitely not."

"Coffee?" Her voice was growing more and more irritated. It was so easy to piss her off. I was going to milk this as much as possible.

"Nuh-uh."

"Look, I'm not any happier about this than you are. I only did this because my cousin asked me to, so let's pretend we like each other and get this over with for her sake, all right?"

"Uh, newsflash: I don't _like _your cousin in any way, not even as an acquaintance. I want to kill myself thinking about the fact that I even know her. Why would I do anything for her sake?"

"You care about your brother, right?"

She had me there. No matter how much I despised it, I would do almost anything for him. And to keep his girlfriend's whiny mouth shut. I didn't have any way to respond.

"Then just do it to make him happy! I don't care! Let's just go."

"Where?-!"

"A movie. That way we can avoid another lovely conversation."

"You're paying your own way in."

"Fine."

Of course, as soon as we got to the theater, Xion started complaining about how I was "so cheap" to take her to the dollar theater. I told her I was being courteous, since she was buying her own ticket. Then, as was expected, we couldn't decide on a movie; the only thing that I found remotely interesting – that we could get in to see without her sixteen-year-old ass having to be with a guardian - was _Colombiana, _while she wanted to see something stupid, like _The Smurfs. _In the end, the guy in the ticket booth suggested we see the longest running movie that was currently showing: _Cars 2._ Who could argue with that? We didn't bother getting drinks or popcorn or whatever else. I think we both made a silent – first – agreement that it would just end with yet another argument.

It's safe to say that I was completely brain dead by the time the previews were over. I wouldn't be able to tell anyone how much of it I had seen before falling asleep if they asked. But at least my "date" had enough sense to wake me up when it was over; most likely just for a ride home.

The car ride was silent, but I could tell it was coming. The way she had been sighing and staring hopelessly out of the window? Yeah, something was on her mind. What? Just because I'm a heartless bastard doesn't mean I can't tell what someone's feeling. I chose to ignore her, in hopes she wouldn't bring up whatever was on her mind.

"Vanitas?..."

Dammit.

"What?" I asked coldly.

"What are we going to do?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I stared at the road as I drove, and was thankful that I could see Kairi's neighborhood just past the next light.

"The dating-"

"It's never going to happen again, end of story."

"But what about Kairi and Sora?"

_Fuck you, red light!_

"I mean, I just want to make them happy. Kairi's been looking for a boyfriend for me for months now, and I'm sick of it. Plus, I really don't want to have to deal with her going on and on about how she's so sorry it didn't work out this time."

I slumped back in my seat, letting go of the steering wheel while I waited for the okay to go. Figures, even her family got tired of Kairi's whining. So it wasn't just about the red-brunette's pride and…whatever dignity she thought she had that Xion was worried about. But I had to admit, Sora would be annoyingly dejected. A little wouldn't hurt, but I knew it would go beyond "a little."

"So what do you suggest?"

"We pretend to date."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. I felt her nervously watching me from the corner of her eye. The light changed green, and I jumped at the opportunity.

"How's this going to work?"

"We don't even have to be together on the nights they think we're going out on a date together. And at school…well, we'll have to fake it. At least while they're around."

I thought on it while I turned onto the street.

"Well, you're going to need my number anyway to fake it, so just text me when you decide." She handed me a small piece of paper with her cell phone number, and opened the door to freedom once the car had pulled up to the correct place. "Oh, and the next time you want to follow someone before a date," she began, one foot outside the vehicle, "don't take Sora along."


End file.
